an inspiration!

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things. The lines I say to myself for inspiration are, “the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting — over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”

for me dance is life

Dance!! Its a gift that becomes entrenched in the soul. Those of us who feel this way have trouble describing to those who dont, but I think of it like this: there is a point when the movement and music grab hold of you and fill you so completely that you become more then a body moving through space; you become art!!

Love your inner child !!...

It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is a little child within who needs love and acceptance. 

If you’re a woman, no matter how self-reliant you are, you have a little girl who’s very tender and needs help. If you’re a man, no matter how macho you are, you still have a little boy inside who craves warmth and affection.

As children, when something went wrong, we tended to believe that there was something wrong with us. Children develop the idea that if they could only do it right, then parents and caregivers would love them, and they wouldn’t punish them. In time, the child believes, There is something wrong with me. I’m not good enough. As we grow older, we carry these false beliefs with us. We learn to reject ourselves.

There is a parent inside each of us, as well as a child. And most of the time, the parent scolds the child—almost nonstop! If we listen to our inner dialogue, we can hear the scolding. We can hear the parent tell the child what it is doing wrong or how it is not good enough. We need to allow our parent to become more nurturing to our child.

I have found that working with the inner child is most valuable in helping to heal the hurts of the past. At this point in our lives—right now—we need to begin to make ourselves whole and accept every part of who we are. We need to communicate with our inner child and let it know that we accept the part that did all the stupid things, the part that was funny looking, the part that was scared, the part that was very foolish and silly—every single part of ourselves.

Love is the greatest healing power I know. Love can heal even the deepest and most painful memories because love brings the light of understanding to the dark corners of our mind. No matter how painful our early childhood was, loving our inner child now will help us to heal it. In the privacy of our own minds we can make new choices and think new thoughts. Thoughts of forgiveness and love for our inner child will open pathways, and the Universe will support us in our efforts.

Stop Looking For Happiness in a relationship....!!!!

“My significant other makes me so happy!” 

“Thanks to my significant other, I finally found happiness!”

“I’m done with my significant other, they just don’t make me happy anymore.”

“Break up with your significant other, you deserve to be happy!”

When I read or hear any variation of the above quotes, I cringe and die a little inside. Why have we become people who willingly and voluntarily allow someone else to control the state of our happiness? We’ve collectively accepted that it’s totally fine to give someone else the remote control to our emotional state.

A relationship is not meant to make you happy. It is nobody’s job to make you happy (unless you’re rich and can hire someone to fulfill all your needs, then by all means!). 

YOU MAKE YOURSELF AS HAPPY OR AS UNHAPPY AS YOU WANT. 

Don’t put that kind of pressure on someone else. Don’t allow someone else to have dominion over how you feel on a day to day basis.

Yes, relationships are wonderful and they add so much to our lives, but they are not here in existence to provide a happiness we can’t find in ourselves. Relationships don’t fill a void or affix an emotional band-aid on your pain. Relationships aren’t the missing piece to your fulfillment. 

A person is not your other or better half.

YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND WHOLE PERSON WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP.

A man or woman is not a BFF pendant, where they have the other half of your heart. Our happiness or our wholeness is not outside of ourselves. There is no finding happiness. This is not a scavenger hunt. You feel happy. You don’t find it or lose it or attain it or buy it. You feel it, just as much as you feel sadness or anger or frustration or attraction.

In a relationship, you grow. You’re attracted to someone based on how much they can allow you to grow, to understand parts of yourself you couldn’t understand without them, to experience what it’s like to be vulnerable. And through that vulnerability, you learn more about who you are; you shed layers of yourself that don’t serve you; you heal painful memories, and share and release trauma.

It’s not sunshine and rainbows and a constant euphoria. It’s not about breaking up because you’re no longer happy. A relationship ends when you’ve each served your purpose to each other, in terms of growth. You part ways when you’re meant to part ways, when there’s nothing more you can learn from each other, when you’ve, quite literally, grown out of each other.

And that’s what love is. Love is higher expressions of yourself. Love is expansion. Love is openness and vulnerability and rawness and nakedness. Love is facing your darkest parts of yourself. Love is being ashamed one day and liberated the next. Love is infrequently pure, unadulterated ecstasy and happiness.

And that’s okay. We’re here for more than just constant bliss. We’re here to, each day, shed layers of ourselves, be better versions of who we used to be, and to be strong and vulnerable, and to grow.

happiness on daughters day!!

Dear Daughter, When you were little, happiness for you was relatively simple. I found what it was that brought out your first enchanting smile and that first beautiful giggle. I would then continue to pull ridiculous faces if it meant that you’d continue to grace me with your captivating, gummy smile. Your happiness, at this stage of your life, was relatively simple for me to figure out. Early on, my main wish for you was that you’d forever be able to enjoy the simple pleasures and delights in life and that you’d be always happy. Yet as adults, we struggle to find the ever-elusive happiness ourselves, so really, it’s very optimistic that I would expect this of you too. The thing is though sweet girl, I want to at least do the very best I can to steer you in the direction of it. I know that happiness is often perceived to be accompanied by money. I mean, once you’ve got large amounts of money, you can pretty much buy anything right? Houses, cars, champagne, you name it, you can have it all. Here’s the thing though honey, the problem with money is that it can’t buy genuine friends and it certainly can’t purchase unconditional love. Money is helpful but it does not guarantee you fulfillment. So if I leave you with nothing else in this chaotic world, I want to leave you with this. My advice on how to find happiness.

Patience is the key to happiness

Life is very unpredictable.It surprises you every second with something which you cannot even imagine.

Patience is what helps an individual in understanding what life is trying to do with it. Do not push yourself into taking decisions in a hurry.

Evaluate, wait and try  understand  the reason behind surprises in life.Life does not do anything without a reason.During the course of problems,difficulties and hurdles we might not be able to comprehend with what exactly life is trying to do with us.

Once the shadow of darkness moves the bright sunshine shows us the way to happiness and it is then when we realize why a surprising situation happened in life and how the surprise was though challenging but at the end came with an outcome of happiness.

Have patience to see  the silver lining above the shadow of darkness.darkness. Do not jump onto judgment..Evaluate ,wait have patience
Slowly,everything will turn out to be good.All the problems will automatically be resolved.

Freedom of Life !!...

"Freedom is my birth right and I shall have it." Yes, freedom is a right. Nobody likes to live in slavery. Everybody likes to live a free and independent life. Restrictions and bonds are liked by none. Even birds and animals like to live in a free atmosphere. If you put a bird in a cage, it will lose its salt of life.

F- Free yourself from all old negative limiting beliefs
R- Release anger, resentment, criticism and guilt
E- Enrich your life with positive thinking and affirmations
E- Empower yourself with meditation and visualizations
D- Dream your desire and see them turning into reality
O- Open the doors of your mind and allow the new to come in
M- Motivate yourself and bring the change you desire in your life 

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” 

Being Happy 

Once i met a small child who told me that he got tensed when he lost in games and i was supposed to help him come out of the stress.
I asked him, how do you come out of stress? you are not stressed all the time. you seem to be happy most of the time.
He said, "I don't know, I just forget stress after some time."
Then one solution he told for coming out of stress is to forget stress and you will be happy. it was so simple but profound lesson.

Well the solution i gave him was also equally important. Also, as adults, it becomes difficult for us to forget like children do.
I asked him, "do you like learning to play the game better or new game?"
He said "Yes. I feel happy when i learn something new"

Solution: "when ever you loose try to learn what you need to learn to win. when you learn you will never become stressed for loosing. You will be happy because you have transformed disadvantage to your advantage."
Boy was satisfied. Its easy to satisfy the children.

Something more than happiness...

There's More to Life Than Being Happy..!!!

In September 1942, Viktor Frankl, a prominent Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist in Vienna, was arrested and transported to a Nazi concentration camp with his wife and parents. Three years later, when his camp was liberated, most of his family, including his pregnant wife, had perished -- but he, prisoner number 119104, had lived.
Later on he came up as a writer as well and in his bestselling 1946 book, Man's Search for Meaning, which he wrote about his experiences in the camps.
Frankl worked as a therapist in the camps, and in his book, he gives the example of two suicidal inmates he encountered there. Like many others in the camps, these two men were hopeless and thought that there was nothing more to expect from life, nothing to live for. "In both cases," Frankl writes, "it was a question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them." For one man, it was his young child, who was then living in a foreign country. For the other, a scientist, it was a series of books that he needed to finish.

Frankl writes: 
This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how." 

 "Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided."
In other words, meaning transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants.

Short Story on Happiness :)

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos. At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon. The speaker began— Exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life. Is this not what you are looking for?

BLACK N WHITE..

BLACK N WHITE!! At times just staring at a point for just a few minutes makes you go through all your memories.. the pleasent ones, the not so pleasent ones, the desired ones, the unwanted ones. You will see every memont so clear in that point of space you stare. Its not easy, you need to be madeup of alot inside, its true too. Woww! Showreel of your life in just few minutes. Happens to me often! And everything you see without forcing yourself you see what you are made off, or your life has made of you! Watch your own life live!

listen to the heart

Your feelings represent U in a way! Your nature , your desire, your fear , your strength, your weaknesses! Feelings can be generated via people around you, via people you be the most at, or WITHIN YOU! A lot of people act on the basis of gut feelings. But for me the gut feelings are the feelings which you have already perceived in your mind to be true or to happen! If your gut feelings is good, then it is pre-set in your mind that you want that to happen, if it isn't good, then it is pre-set in your mind that you dont want it to happenbut its there because you fear it!! I dont know if its good or not, all I know is more than any feelings, listen to your heart. Your heart can be the councillor to your gut feelings.. Can it happen? Will it happen?? And you will get the answer! The best part-your heart gives u the feeling which you can call as YOUR OWN FEELING. Do what it says, believe what it says, because what it says is not always a feeling, its a fact which you call 'feeling' and its implementation is called listening to the heart.

Different faces of life!!....

To get an all-round exposure to life, take out five days – not too many, just five days.

Spend one day – morning to evening, with a farmer. Go with him to the farm early morning and see whatever he does all day. You will become sensitive towards the environment, towards food. A third of the food in the world is wasted and thrown. Spending the day watching the farmer will let us know the hard work and resources that go into producing food and we will think twice before wasting it.

Spend one day in jail (but without committing a crime). You will realize that the people we label as criminals and put in prisons landed there due to circumstances, due to ignorance. When anger grips a person, they are not in control of their actions. If you ask the most hardened criminal, they will say, “I didn’t do it. Something came over me and it just happened.” It will become evident that inside every culprit there is a victim crying for help. Compassion will arise in your heart. If you have hatred in your heart towards anybody, that hatred will vanish.

On the third day, become a school teacher. You will understand why a guru is needed. Wherever you are in life, there are so many that you can help and guide. It brings a deep satisfaction within. It’s not that only those with long hair and beard can be gurus. Everybody can play the role for at least some people. You don’t really need a special skill to be a guru, you need compassion. Being a teacher, you can channel that compassion to people. “I want nothing but my student should progress.” 

Spend the fourth day in a mental institution. Whatever anybody in a mental hospital says to you, whatever names they call you, you won’t take it to heart. After spending a day when anybody can say anything to you, you will develop the strength to face criticism without being shaken. Not only will you be strong enough to accept all criticism, you will have compassion for those who criticize you. We get anxious over small matters. “What does he/she think about me?” We are shaken and then we react to these things. You should have the courage to give criticism and the courage to receive criticism as well. 

Spend one day in the cemetery or funeral home. You will have a very close and intense experience of the impermanence of life. Whatever complaints you have will vanish. Having the experience that death can come anytime will change your perspective on life for good.

Just a formal education is not enough. It is important to explore different dimensions of life to get a holistic education.

Finding Love ??.... Self Love - is the greatest love of all !!...

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." 

Self love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship - that with yourself. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love yourself is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice, it is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to "love everybody as you love yourself".  You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though and you will find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself.

To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept yourself as you are - the "light" parts and the "dark", the "good" and the "bad" - while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your mind, your body and your spirit; all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because love is your birthright no matter what.

Love Yourself,
Believe in Yourself,
Find the spirit within
And your dreams will Come True !.......

5 wonderful steps to stay happy!!

Listen to Your Heart

The ingredients in your happiness plate are changing continually. If you went to the same smorgasbord every day for a year, you probably would come back with a different plateful of food each time. Each day-sometimes each hour-only you can tell what it takes to make you happy. But to condition yourself to learn how to be happy, you must get in touch with your feelings and listen to your heart. This is the only way to judge whether a job, a relationship, an investment, or any decision, is right for you.

Be True to Yourself

You’re true to yourself only when you follow your inner light, when you listen to what Ralph Waldo Emerson called the “still, small voice within.” You’re being the very best person you can be only when you have the courage and the fortitude to allow your definition of happiness, whatever it may be, to be the guiding light of every part of your life.

You Deserve It

A very important point on the subject of happiness is whether or not you feel that you “deserve” to be happy. If you don’t feel like you deserve it, you must learn how to be happy by accepting the notion that you deserve it all.

You deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through the application of your talents and abilities. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. And the more deserving you feel, the more likely you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.

Do Things That Make You Happy

It sounds simple, but not everyone takes the time to evaluate what makes them happy. You should do things that make you happy and consider happiness the organizing principle of your life. Compare every possible action and decision you make against your standard of happiness to see whether that action would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all of the problems in your life come from choices that you have made – or are currently making – that do not contribute to your happiness.

Pay the Price

Of course, there are countless times when you will have to do little things that don’t make you happy along the way toward those larger things that make you very happy indeed. We call this paying the price of success in advance. You must pay your dues. Sometimes these interim steps don’t make you happy directly, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goal will be so great that it totally overwhelms the temporary inconveniences and dissatisfactions you have to endure in order to get there.

It’s About Letting Life Live You !....

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving ” 

You can’t control life.

I used to have plans for what I wanted to do. I still have intentions for where I am going, but I’m not rigid about them.

I don’t suffer if they happen. I might be unhappy, but I do my best to stay here and now when they arise.

I had no idea I would be doing what I do today just a few years ago. I’m doing what I love, and I’m teaching people how to build a business around their passion.

At the same time, I’m an alarm clock that helps people wake up from their slumber. I trust the force.

It’s not easy to let go, because your mind will try to fight you tooth and nail, but when you see that first glimpse, you realize what’s possible.

It has taken me years to reach this point, so don’t criticize yourself if you’re not where you want to be. Notice that, that is another thought, and notice that you are the awareness behind that thought.

Life isn't about finding yourself and creating yourself..So just enjoy every moment of it :)

Cheers to Life !!..........

Life is too short to do something good for others..

How easy and simple it would have been if you would have been getting things before you even say or what if you would have asked and you would have given it.
We people ask for things, materials....have we ever asked for someone else life.... i think we hardly do that. we are so much occupied in the monotony of our lives that we don't see the other person's suffering. Looking at the person and staring him/her and showing petty is not at all good. They even deserves a beautiful life like us. Somehow they are not able to do that but and by giving such reactions we make them suffer more and more.
God doesn't give everybody everything but whatever he gives to us, do we actually utilize that............NO and we just go on asking for more and more. How can man be so unkind....?????
We see our sufferings and our bad conditions and we tend to neglect the other person.
I know the world is not a wish granting factory but do we really wish for someone else who is a total stranger to us. No, we rarely do....... Is this is how we are supposed to move on..... remembering someone in your prayers and praying for the health and improving conditions of others will not take away anything from us..
This life is too short to do good deeds... you never know when it comes on you and you are in the same condition of asking for people to pray for you.It's not a give and take game like people generally think... he didn't do for me so i will not. Get out of this thought that this world is mean, when you see positivism you tend to forget the negative of a person.
We should see happiness in small things,of course materialistic things can make you happy but what is the use if the people you want to be with are not there with you.

There is a picture attached in the post which talks about that we need to clear off our minds in order to think something good for somebody rlse.

A new beginning !..

We’re all evolving... This is just the beginning..

Each moment is a new beginning. There’s no need to live in the future, because future is merely a concept in your head.

When it arrives, it will arrive as the present moment. If you’re not here and now, you’ll miss it. You’ll keep dreaming of a better future, which never really comes as it is uncertain.

The message I want to give you is that whatever is there is - NOW.

We all have challenges in our life, but it’s okay. Say yes to life. Accept what’s here and now. Trust life, even if it doesn’t look the way you want it to.

The problem isn’t life, but your expectations of it.

Everything in the outside world will sooner or later dissolve, but who you are deep down is eternal. When you can tap into who you really are, your life will change.

Live your present as if there is no tomorrow !!..... Life is a gift...Live it up........

Are you ready ?

Why practice happiness??

Why Practice Happiness?

In addition to making us feel good, studies have found that happiness actually improves other aspects of our lives. Here is an overview of some of the good stuff that research has linked to happiness.

• Happiness is good for our health: Happy people are less likely to get sick, and they live longer.
• Happiness is good for our relationships: Happy people are more likely to get married and have fulfilling marriages, and they have more friends.
• Happy people make more money and are more productive at work.
• Happy people are more generous.
• Happy people cope better with stress and trauma.
• Happy people are more creative and are better able to see the big picture.

A DAY! YOUR OWN DAY!

A DAY is a 24hour time span you spend doing a lot of activities,  meeting people,working, practicing, eating, resting, rejuvenating!  No two days have ever been a copy of one another, every day is a new experience all together..experiences that set a benchmark of your life. Ther would be happiest day of your life, there would be saddest day of your life, there would even be a luckiest day of your life. Ever realised, you possibly meet the same people at work everyday, live with same people everyday, interact with them but their intensities are different with you, their compatability, thier feelings, their thoughts and movements are different with you everyday. Ever wondered why?? Because even they are having their OWN DAY. Sometimes its the day you face and not the people!! Strange and twisted..!!

You are your own problem solver

what are problems?

Something created out of misunderstanding,dissatisfaction,non fulfillment of expectations,failure in achieving goals in life,Peer pressure.family issue,relationship issues,Job dissatisfaction,Feeling of loneliness e.t.c.

One must understand a simple thing the problem that has been created by you,suffered by you,faced by you how can some one else lava the right solution for it.No matter who advice you,what they advice you at the end you turn back to yourself asking is that truly the right solution to my problem?

It is very easy for others to advice; they are not the bearers of the sufferings and circumstances.

Have faith in your decision making capability.Trust yourself that yes i know what the problem is ,I know that what action has to be taken towards resolving the problem,i know my resolution is fit and best for me.

I am not saying that do not listen to what others have to advice for the problem.Be a good 

listener.Evaluate ,calculate the possibilities of solutions and finally after the considerations start with the course of action required for solving the problem.

Others would be sympathetic towards your problem;but the reality is when a person faces hurdles or problem its empathy that they have an urge for and not sympathy.

You are your own problem solver no one knows you more than you :your own self.You are the secret possessor of the your strength,weakness your capabilities your fears. You know best what is right or wrong for you.A wise solution is achieved only after the evaluation of these aspects.

 # There is an image attached to the post stating that If you are solving someone else's problem,you are constantly stabbing in the dark.but when you solve you own problem the light come on

What is missing in your life ?..

Why aren't you happy ?

Happiness is a state of mind. This is a statement that you have probably heard thousands of times. The problem is how do you achieve that state?

You have everything that is termed as great and wonderful: a fantastic career, a beautiful house, a supportive spouse, loving children, and everything else that is supposed to be necessary for happiness in this world.

Than why do you keep asking the same question? Why am I not happy? Why am I depressed? What is it that is missing in my life? Try as I may, I am just not happy with myself. Why? Why are you still struggling with an answer to these important questions?

1.The need for introspection

2.Past trauma

3.Betrayals

4.Jealousy can make you unhappy

5.Drifting aimlessly

6.Not being able to achieve your goals

How to be happy

Introspection is the best way to do this. For many people, meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, seems to be the key that allows them to look inward and understand the causes of their unhappiness.

Of course, never forget to keep in touch with people who love you for who you are and can be the major sources of your happiness. Activities such as writing, painting, or photography, or anything that attracts you can keep you in touch with your inner self as well as be major outlets for the expression of your inner pain.

The video gives you an overview regarding how you could end your sufferings..

10 ways to be happier!!

1. Don’t start with profundities. When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger. I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it. Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things―learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places―are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.” Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness. Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do. You also want to have a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness.

7. Don’t insist on the best. There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy. I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.

9. Stop nagging. I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?

10. Take action. Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole year.

 

Strategies for greater happiness!

It’s an age-old assumption: Success, whether in school, work or relationships, causes happiness. Many of us strive for success, putting long hours into our work or studies in the hopes of achieving success and, as a byproduct of that success, happiness.

But a review of 225 studies in thePsychological Bulletin found that happiness doesn’t necessarily follow success. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Happiness leads to success.

According to the study’s findings, happy people seek out and undertake new goals that reinforce their happiness and other positive emotions.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., of the University of California, Riverside and colleagues reviewed three types of studies: those that compare different groups of people, those that follow individuals over time and those that examine outcomes in controlled settings.

These studies examined questions such as “Are happy people more successful than unhappy people? Does happiness precede success? And does positive affect lead to success-oriented behaviors?”

The results from all three types of studies suggest that happiness leads to greater successes in life.  Lyubomirsky suggests “this may be because happy people frequently experience positive moods and these positive moods prompt them to be more likely to work actively toward new goals and build new resources. When people feel happy, they tend to feel confident, optimistic, and energetic and others find them likable and sociable.”

This doesn’t mean that happy people are always successful and never feel sad.  Part of a healthy sense of well-being includes experiencing painful emotions in response to difficult and painful life circumstances.  These studies found that even generally happy people experienced negative emotions related to challenging or painful life experiences.

Other factors also contribute to success, including intelligence, fitness, social support and expertise.  But Lyubomirsky says, “happy individuals are more likely than their less happy peers to have fulfilling marriages and relationships, high incomes, superior work performance, community involvement, robust health and even a long life.”

Strategies for Greater Happiness

So how can you become happier?

In another review of studies on happiness, looking at 51 studies that tested attempts to increase happiness through different types of positive thinking, Lyubomirsky identified some key ways to improve happiness.

Be grateful.

People reported happiness that lasted for weeks and months after writing letters (they don’t even have to be sent) of gratitude to others.

Be optimistic.

Visualizing positive circumstances and outcomes increased happiness for study participants.

Count your blessings.

People who wrote three positive things that had happened to them each week found their spirits lifted.

Use your strengths.

Identifying strengths and making a commitment to try to use them in new ways appeared to enhance happiness in one study’s participants.

Act kindly.

People who help others report that it also helps their own sense of well-being.

Is there a difference between religion and spirituality ?

Religion and spirituality are two related yet distinct terms associated with faith. Religion denotes "a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, usually involving devotional and ritual observances and a moral code." In contrast,spirituality can be defined as "the quality of being spiritual" .

Based on these definitions, the major difference between religion and spirituality is one of believing versus being. Religion's focus is the content of one's belief and the outworking of that belief; spirituality's focus is the process of becoming more attuned to unworldly affairs. It's possible to be religious without being spiritual and spiritual without being religious.

A religious person accepts a certain set of beliefs as true and observes a certain set of rituals. A person of the Christian religion believes Jesus is God's Son and observes baptism and communion. A person of the Muslim religion believes Allah is God and observes Ramadan and salat.

In contrast, spirituality is the fact of being spiritual and is usually evidenced by the act of doing spiritual things. Praying, meditating, reading Scripture, and giving to a charity are all things that a "spiritual" person might do.

Spirituality is more abstract than religion. Religion usually promotes a creed and has a defined code of ethics; it is tangible. Spirituality exists in the nebulous realm of the undefinable. Because of this, an increasing number of people in postmodern Western culture view spirituality as good and religion as bad. Ambiguity is "in" today; dogmatism is "out."

Yet neither spirituality nor religion is inherently good or bad. The practice of religion may lead to good (the founding of Christian hospitals) or to evil (the mass suicide in Jonestown). Likewise, one person may claim that feeding the poor is a spiritual act, while someone else claims that murder is a spiritual act.

Biblically speaking, religion and spirituality should be united, and the end result should be good works to the glory of God (Matthew 5:16).James 1:27 teaches, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Here religion is associated with the application of one's belief in ways that help the needy and lead to a more spiritual lifestyle. True religion is godly; empty religion only has "the appearance of godliness" (2 Timothy 3:5).

Spirituality is also defined more clearly in Scripture. There's nothing vague about 

Romans 12:1-2: "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God,which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind" (emphasis added). True Christian spirituality is to dedicate ourselves to the worship and service of God and to be supernaturally transformed.

Its important to spend time with yourself

There are days when you just want to spend time with just yourself alone, observing, absorbing, calculating and judging. That very day you will realise that you are not just you, you will get know about all the people inside you, with you, that make you!! Try it, the day you spend alone, wont be alone, your mind will be occupied by the people who might be your inspiration, peoplw who you love, people who are alike you, or probably just your family. A person is made up of people. Its crazy what all can just a human be made of......!!!!

The biggest fear in life and how to deal with it....

AS WE SAY .... HELL AND HEAVEN BOTH EXIST ON THIS EARTH ONLY.

We have fears in life  and one of them is the fear to face the fact of life that yes something bad has come on us...

We always blame God for wrong things but we rarely appreciate the good things he has given.  We don’t know when and how the person is going to come in front of us and how the series of revenge is going to continue so the easy way out to let go things is to Forgive…

I am not saying to forget what the other person has done wrong because surely that will teach you a lesson and forgiving him/her will surely some how teach him a lesson. Sooner or later you have to pay for all your KARMAS. 

Now here when I talk about karma, I feel it’s what you do in everyday life. Good things are meant to in the good books but what about the bad deeds we have. They are also a part of this Karmic cycle we are involved in. we think something is good doesn’t mean it’s good. We tend to make ourselves believe that yes its good and there we go wrong…. We did certain act but we eventually forget, even that person also forgets but when something goes wrong with us we start blaming God…  and this point of time we are not able to relate that yes even I somewhere at some point of time did wrong with somebody.

We have to get a balance in our life so that we can understand that actually what we are doing to somebody is not going to harm him/her.  This is the most important aspect of our life…

All of this is going to come with Forgiveness. Eventually you should try and forgive. Let it be what ever has happened, you can’t just hold on to with things for so long. At the end of the day it is going to take away your peace and that is what we don’t want.

Nothing can be bigger than forgiving someone…  hatred and revenge will leave you at a point where you will be left alone in dark world of resentment…