Love your inner child !!...

It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is a little child within who needs love and acceptance. 

If you’re a woman, no matter how self-reliant you are, you have a little girl who’s very tender and needs help. If you’re a man, no matter how macho you are, you still have a little boy inside who craves warmth and affection.

As children, when something went wrong, we tended to believe that there was something wrong with us. Children develop the idea that if they could only do it right, then parents and caregivers would love them, and they wouldn’t punish them. In time, the child believes, There is something wrong with me. I’m not good enough. As we grow older, we carry these false beliefs with us. We learn to reject ourselves.

There is a parent inside each of us, as well as a child. And most of the time, the parent scolds the child—almost nonstop! If we listen to our inner dialogue, we can hear the scolding. We can hear the parent tell the child what it is doing wrong or how it is not good enough. We need to allow our parent to become more nurturing to our child.

I have found that working with the inner child is most valuable in helping to heal the hurts of the past. At this point in our lives—right now—we need to begin to make ourselves whole and accept every part of who we are. We need to communicate with our inner child and let it know that we accept the part that did all the stupid things, the part that was funny looking, the part that was scared, the part that was very foolish and silly—every single part of ourselves.

Love is the greatest healing power I know. Love can heal even the deepest and most painful memories because love brings the light of understanding to the dark corners of our mind. No matter how painful our early childhood was, loving our inner child now will help us to heal it. In the privacy of our own minds we can make new choices and think new thoughts. Thoughts of forgiveness and love for our inner child will open pathways, and the Universe will support us in our efforts.

Stop Looking For Happiness in a relationship....!!!!

“My significant other makes me so happy!” 

“Thanks to my significant other, I finally found happiness!”

“I’m done with my significant other, they just don’t make me happy anymore.”

“Break up with your significant other, you deserve to be happy!”

When I read or hear any variation of the above quotes, I cringe and die a little inside. Why have we become people who willingly and voluntarily allow someone else to control the state of our happiness? We’ve collectively accepted that it’s totally fine to give someone else the remote control to our emotional state.

A relationship is not meant to make you happy. It is nobody’s job to make you happy (unless you’re rich and can hire someone to fulfill all your needs, then by all means!). 

YOU MAKE YOURSELF AS HAPPY OR AS UNHAPPY AS YOU WANT. 

Don’t put that kind of pressure on someone else. Don’t allow someone else to have dominion over how you feel on a day to day basis.

Yes, relationships are wonderful and they add so much to our lives, but they are not here in existence to provide a happiness we can’t find in ourselves. Relationships don’t fill a void or affix an emotional band-aid on your pain. Relationships aren’t the missing piece to your fulfillment. 

A person is not your other or better half.

YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND WHOLE PERSON WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP.

A man or woman is not a BFF pendant, where they have the other half of your heart. Our happiness or our wholeness is not outside of ourselves. There is no finding happiness. This is not a scavenger hunt. You feel happy. You don’t find it or lose it or attain it or buy it. You feel it, just as much as you feel sadness or anger or frustration or attraction.

In a relationship, you grow. You’re attracted to someone based on how much they can allow you to grow, to understand parts of yourself you couldn’t understand without them, to experience what it’s like to be vulnerable. And through that vulnerability, you learn more about who you are; you shed layers of yourself that don’t serve you; you heal painful memories, and share and release trauma.

It’s not sunshine and rainbows and a constant euphoria. It’s not about breaking up because you’re no longer happy. A relationship ends when you’ve each served your purpose to each other, in terms of growth. You part ways when you’re meant to part ways, when there’s nothing more you can learn from each other, when you’ve, quite literally, grown out of each other.

And that’s what love is. Love is higher expressions of yourself. Love is expansion. Love is openness and vulnerability and rawness and nakedness. Love is facing your darkest parts of yourself. Love is being ashamed one day and liberated the next. Love is infrequently pure, unadulterated ecstasy and happiness.

And that’s okay. We’re here for more than just constant bliss. We’re here to, each day, shed layers of ourselves, be better versions of who we used to be, and to be strong and vulnerable, and to grow.

happiness on daughters day!!

Dear Daughter, When you were little, happiness for you was relatively simple. I found what it was that brought out your first enchanting smile and that first beautiful giggle. I would then continue to pull ridiculous faces if it meant that you’d continue to grace me with your captivating, gummy smile. Your happiness, at this stage of your life, was relatively simple for me to figure out. Early on, my main wish for you was that you’d forever be able to enjoy the simple pleasures and delights in life and that you’d be always happy. Yet as adults, we struggle to find the ever-elusive happiness ourselves, so really, it’s very optimistic that I would expect this of you too. The thing is though sweet girl, I want to at least do the very best I can to steer you in the direction of it. I know that happiness is often perceived to be accompanied by money. I mean, once you’ve got large amounts of money, you can pretty much buy anything right? Houses, cars, champagne, you name it, you can have it all. Here’s the thing though honey, the problem with money is that it can’t buy genuine friends and it certainly can’t purchase unconditional love. Money is helpful but it does not guarantee you fulfillment. So if I leave you with nothing else in this chaotic world, I want to leave you with this. My advice on how to find happiness.

Patience is the key to happiness

Life is very unpredictable.It surprises you every second with something which you cannot even imagine.

Patience is what helps an individual in understanding what life is trying to do with it. Do not push yourself into taking decisions in a hurry.

Evaluate, wait and try  understand  the reason behind surprises in life.Life does not do anything without a reason.During the course of problems,difficulties and hurdles we might not be able to comprehend with what exactly life is trying to do with us.

Once the shadow of darkness moves the bright sunshine shows us the way to happiness and it is then when we realize why a surprising situation happened in life and how the surprise was though challenging but at the end came with an outcome of happiness.

Have patience to see  the silver lining above the shadow of darkness.darkness. Do not jump onto judgment..Evaluate ,wait have patience
Slowly,everything will turn out to be good.All the problems will automatically be resolved.

Freedom of Life !!...

"Freedom is my birth right and I shall have it." Yes, freedom is a right. Nobody likes to live in slavery. Everybody likes to live a free and independent life. Restrictions and bonds are liked by none. Even birds and animals like to live in a free atmosphere. If you put a bird in a cage, it will lose its salt of life.

F- Free yourself from all old negative limiting beliefs
R- Release anger, resentment, criticism and guilt
E- Enrich your life with positive thinking and affirmations
E- Empower yourself with meditation and visualizations
D- Dream your desire and see them turning into reality
O- Open the doors of your mind and allow the new to come in
M- Motivate yourself and bring the change you desire in your life 

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” 

Being Happy 

Once i met a small child who told me that he got tensed when he lost in games and i was supposed to help him come out of the stress.
I asked him, how do you come out of stress? you are not stressed all the time. you seem to be happy most of the time.
He said, "I don't know, I just forget stress after some time."
Then one solution he told for coming out of stress is to forget stress and you will be happy. it was so simple but profound lesson.

Well the solution i gave him was also equally important. Also, as adults, it becomes difficult for us to forget like children do.
I asked him, "do you like learning to play the game better or new game?"
He said "Yes. I feel happy when i learn something new"

Solution: "when ever you loose try to learn what you need to learn to win. when you learn you will never become stressed for loosing. You will be happy because you have transformed disadvantage to your advantage."
Boy was satisfied. Its easy to satisfy the children.

Something more than happiness...

There's More to Life Than Being Happy..!!!

In September 1942, Viktor Frankl, a prominent Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist in Vienna, was arrested and transported to a Nazi concentration camp with his wife and parents. Three years later, when his camp was liberated, most of his family, including his pregnant wife, had perished -- but he, prisoner number 119104, had lived.
Later on he came up as a writer as well and in his bestselling 1946 book, Man's Search for Meaning, which he wrote about his experiences in the camps.
Frankl worked as a therapist in the camps, and in his book, he gives the example of two suicidal inmates he encountered there. Like many others in the camps, these two men were hopeless and thought that there was nothing more to expect from life, nothing to live for. "In both cases," Frankl writes, "it was a question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them." For one man, it was his young child, who was then living in a foreign country. For the other, a scientist, it was a series of books that he needed to finish.

Frankl writes: 
This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how." 

 "Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided."
In other words, meaning transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants.