Stop Looking For Happiness in a relationship....!!!!

“My significant other makes me so happy!” 

“Thanks to my significant other, I finally found happiness!”

“I’m done with my significant other, they just don’t make me happy anymore.”

“Break up with your significant other, you deserve to be happy!”

When I read or hear any variation of the above quotes, I cringe and die a little inside. Why have we become people who willingly and voluntarily allow someone else to control the state of our happiness? We’ve collectively accepted that it’s totally fine to give someone else the remote control to our emotional state.

A relationship is not meant to make you happy. It is nobody’s job to make you happy (unless you’re rich and can hire someone to fulfill all your needs, then by all means!). 

YOU MAKE YOURSELF AS HAPPY OR AS UNHAPPY AS YOU WANT. 

Don’t put that kind of pressure on someone else. Don’t allow someone else to have dominion over how you feel on a day to day basis.

Yes, relationships are wonderful and they add so much to our lives, but they are not here in existence to provide a happiness we can’t find in ourselves. Relationships don’t fill a void or affix an emotional band-aid on your pain. Relationships aren’t the missing piece to your fulfillment. 

A person is not your other or better half.

YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND WHOLE PERSON WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP.

A man or woman is not a BFF pendant, where they have the other half of your heart. Our happiness or our wholeness is not outside of ourselves. There is no finding happiness. This is not a scavenger hunt. You feel happy. You don’t find it or lose it or attain it or buy it. You feel it, just as much as you feel sadness or anger or frustration or attraction.

In a relationship, you grow. You’re attracted to someone based on how much they can allow you to grow, to understand parts of yourself you couldn’t understand without them, to experience what it’s like to be vulnerable. And through that vulnerability, you learn more about who you are; you shed layers of yourself that don’t serve you; you heal painful memories, and share and release trauma.

It’s not sunshine and rainbows and a constant euphoria. It’s not about breaking up because you’re no longer happy. A relationship ends when you’ve each served your purpose to each other, in terms of growth. You part ways when you’re meant to part ways, when there’s nothing more you can learn from each other, when you’ve, quite literally, grown out of each other.

And that’s what love is. Love is higher expressions of yourself. Love is expansion. Love is openness and vulnerability and rawness and nakedness. Love is facing your darkest parts of yourself. Love is being ashamed one day and liberated the next. Love is infrequently pure, unadulterated ecstasy and happiness.

And that’s okay. We’re here for more than just constant bliss. We’re here to, each day, shed layers of ourselves, be better versions of who we used to be, and to be strong and vulnerable, and to grow.

happiness on daughters day!!

Dear Daughter, When you were little, happiness for you was relatively simple. I found what it was that brought out your first enchanting smile and that first beautiful giggle. I would then continue to pull ridiculous faces if it meant that you’d continue to grace me with your captivating, gummy smile. Your happiness, at this stage of your life, was relatively simple for me to figure out. Early on, my main wish for you was that you’d forever be able to enjoy the simple pleasures and delights in life and that you’d be always happy. Yet as adults, we struggle to find the ever-elusive happiness ourselves, so really, it’s very optimistic that I would expect this of you too. The thing is though sweet girl, I want to at least do the very best I can to steer you in the direction of it. I know that happiness is often perceived to be accompanied by money. I mean, once you’ve got large amounts of money, you can pretty much buy anything right? Houses, cars, champagne, you name it, you can have it all. Here’s the thing though honey, the problem with money is that it can’t buy genuine friends and it certainly can’t purchase unconditional love. Money is helpful but it does not guarantee you fulfillment. So if I leave you with nothing else in this chaotic world, I want to leave you with this. My advice on how to find happiness.

Patience is the key to happiness

Life is very unpredictable.It surprises you every second with something which you cannot even imagine.

Patience is what helps an individual in understanding what life is trying to do with it. Do not push yourself into taking decisions in a hurry.

Evaluate, wait and try  understand  the reason behind surprises in life.Life does not do anything without a reason.During the course of problems,difficulties and hurdles we might not be able to comprehend with what exactly life is trying to do with us.

Once the shadow of darkness moves the bright sunshine shows us the way to happiness and it is then when we realize why a surprising situation happened in life and how the surprise was though challenging but at the end came with an outcome of happiness.

Have patience to see  the silver lining above the shadow of darkness.darkness. Do not jump onto judgment..Evaluate ,wait have patience
Slowly,everything will turn out to be good.All the problems will automatically be resolved.

Freedom of Life !!...

"Freedom is my birth right and I shall have it." Yes, freedom is a right. Nobody likes to live in slavery. Everybody likes to live a free and independent life. Restrictions and bonds are liked by none. Even birds and animals like to live in a free atmosphere. If you put a bird in a cage, it will lose its salt of life.

F- Free yourself from all old negative limiting beliefs
R- Release anger, resentment, criticism and guilt
E- Enrich your life with positive thinking and affirmations
E- Empower yourself with meditation and visualizations
D- Dream your desire and see them turning into reality
O- Open the doors of your mind and allow the new to come in
M- Motivate yourself and bring the change you desire in your life 

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” 

Being Happy 

Once i met a small child who told me that he got tensed when he lost in games and i was supposed to help him come out of the stress.
I asked him, how do you come out of stress? you are not stressed all the time. you seem to be happy most of the time.
He said, "I don't know, I just forget stress after some time."
Then one solution he told for coming out of stress is to forget stress and you will be happy. it was so simple but profound lesson.

Well the solution i gave him was also equally important. Also, as adults, it becomes difficult for us to forget like children do.
I asked him, "do you like learning to play the game better or new game?"
He said "Yes. I feel happy when i learn something new"

Solution: "when ever you loose try to learn what you need to learn to win. when you learn you will never become stressed for loosing. You will be happy because you have transformed disadvantage to your advantage."
Boy was satisfied. Its easy to satisfy the children.

Something more than happiness...

There's More to Life Than Being Happy..!!!

In September 1942, Viktor Frankl, a prominent Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist in Vienna, was arrested and transported to a Nazi concentration camp with his wife and parents. Three years later, when his camp was liberated, most of his family, including his pregnant wife, had perished -- but he, prisoner number 119104, had lived.
Later on he came up as a writer as well and in his bestselling 1946 book, Man's Search for Meaning, which he wrote about his experiences in the camps.
Frankl worked as a therapist in the camps, and in his book, he gives the example of two suicidal inmates he encountered there. Like many others in the camps, these two men were hopeless and thought that there was nothing more to expect from life, nothing to live for. "In both cases," Frankl writes, "it was a question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them." For one man, it was his young child, who was then living in a foreign country. For the other, a scientist, it was a series of books that he needed to finish.

Frankl writes: 
This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how." 

 "Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided."
In other words, meaning transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants.

Short Story on Happiness :)

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos. At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon. The speaker began— Exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life. Is this not what you are looking for?

BLACK N WHITE..

BLACK N WHITE!! At times just staring at a point for just a few minutes makes you go through all your memories.. the pleasent ones, the not so pleasent ones, the desired ones, the unwanted ones. You will see every memont so clear in that point of space you stare. Its not easy, you need to be madeup of alot inside, its true too. Woww! Showreel of your life in just few minutes. Happens to me often! And everything you see without forcing yourself you see what you are made off, or your life has made of you! Watch your own life live!

listen to the heart

Your feelings represent U in a way! Your nature , your desire, your fear , your strength, your weaknesses! Feelings can be generated via people around you, via people you be the most at, or WITHIN YOU! A lot of people act on the basis of gut feelings. But for me the gut feelings are the feelings which you have already perceived in your mind to be true or to happen! If your gut feelings is good, then it is pre-set in your mind that you want that to happen, if it isn't good, then it is pre-set in your mind that you dont want it to happenbut its there because you fear it!! I dont know if its good or not, all I know is more than any feelings, listen to your heart. Your heart can be the councillor to your gut feelings.. Can it happen? Will it happen?? And you will get the answer! The best part-your heart gives u the feeling which you can call as YOUR OWN FEELING. Do what it says, believe what it says, because what it says is not always a feeling, its a fact which you call 'feeling' and its implementation is called listening to the heart.

Different faces of life!!....

To get an all-round exposure to life, take out five days – not too many, just five days.

Spend one day – morning to evening, with a farmer. Go with him to the farm early morning and see whatever he does all day. You will become sensitive towards the environment, towards food. A third of the food in the world is wasted and thrown. Spending the day watching the farmer will let us know the hard work and resources that go into producing food and we will think twice before wasting it.

Spend one day in jail (but without committing a crime). You will realize that the people we label as criminals and put in prisons landed there due to circumstances, due to ignorance. When anger grips a person, they are not in control of their actions. If you ask the most hardened criminal, they will say, “I didn’t do it. Something came over me and it just happened.” It will become evident that inside every culprit there is a victim crying for help. Compassion will arise in your heart. If you have hatred in your heart towards anybody, that hatred will vanish.

On the third day, become a school teacher. You will understand why a guru is needed. Wherever you are in life, there are so many that you can help and guide. It brings a deep satisfaction within. It’s not that only those with long hair and beard can be gurus. Everybody can play the role for at least some people. You don’t really need a special skill to be a guru, you need compassion. Being a teacher, you can channel that compassion to people. “I want nothing but my student should progress.” 

Spend the fourth day in a mental institution. Whatever anybody in a mental hospital says to you, whatever names they call you, you won’t take it to heart. After spending a day when anybody can say anything to you, you will develop the strength to face criticism without being shaken. Not only will you be strong enough to accept all criticism, you will have compassion for those who criticize you. We get anxious over small matters. “What does he/she think about me?” We are shaken and then we react to these things. You should have the courage to give criticism and the courage to receive criticism as well. 

Spend one day in the cemetery or funeral home. You will have a very close and intense experience of the impermanence of life. Whatever complaints you have will vanish. Having the experience that death can come anytime will change your perspective on life for good.

Just a formal education is not enough. It is important to explore different dimensions of life to get a holistic education.

Finding Love ??.... Self Love - is the greatest love of all !!...

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." 

Self love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship - that with yourself. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love yourself is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice, it is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to "love everybody as you love yourself".  You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though and you will find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself.

To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept yourself as you are - the "light" parts and the "dark", the "good" and the "bad" - while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your mind, your body and your spirit; all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because love is your birthright no matter what.

Love Yourself,
Believe in Yourself,
Find the spirit within
And your dreams will Come True !.......

5 wonderful steps to stay happy!!

Listen to Your Heart

The ingredients in your happiness plate are changing continually. If you went to the same smorgasbord every day for a year, you probably would come back with a different plateful of food each time. Each day-sometimes each hour-only you can tell what it takes to make you happy. But to condition yourself to learn how to be happy, you must get in touch with your feelings and listen to your heart. This is the only way to judge whether a job, a relationship, an investment, or any decision, is right for you.

Be True to Yourself

You’re true to yourself only when you follow your inner light, when you listen to what Ralph Waldo Emerson called the “still, small voice within.” You’re being the very best person you can be only when you have the courage and the fortitude to allow your definition of happiness, whatever it may be, to be the guiding light of every part of your life.

You Deserve It

A very important point on the subject of happiness is whether or not you feel that you “deserve” to be happy. If you don’t feel like you deserve it, you must learn how to be happy by accepting the notion that you deserve it all.

You deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through the application of your talents and abilities. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. And the more deserving you feel, the more likely you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.

Do Things That Make You Happy

It sounds simple, but not everyone takes the time to evaluate what makes them happy. You should do things that make you happy and consider happiness the organizing principle of your life. Compare every possible action and decision you make against your standard of happiness to see whether that action would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all of the problems in your life come from choices that you have made – or are currently making – that do not contribute to your happiness.

Pay the Price

Of course, there are countless times when you will have to do little things that don’t make you happy along the way toward those larger things that make you very happy indeed. We call this paying the price of success in advance. You must pay your dues. Sometimes these interim steps don’t make you happy directly, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goal will be so great that it totally overwhelms the temporary inconveniences and dissatisfactions you have to endure in order to get there.

It’s About Letting Life Live You !....

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving ” 

You can’t control life.

I used to have plans for what I wanted to do. I still have intentions for where I am going, but I’m not rigid about them.

I don’t suffer if they happen. I might be unhappy, but I do my best to stay here and now when they arise.

I had no idea I would be doing what I do today just a few years ago. I’m doing what I love, and I’m teaching people how to build a business around their passion.

At the same time, I’m an alarm clock that helps people wake up from their slumber. I trust the force.

It’s not easy to let go, because your mind will try to fight you tooth and nail, but when you see that first glimpse, you realize what’s possible.

It has taken me years to reach this point, so don’t criticize yourself if you’re not where you want to be. Notice that, that is another thought, and notice that you are the awareness behind that thought.

Life isn't about finding yourself and creating yourself..So just enjoy every moment of it :)

Cheers to Life !!..........